I'm Back! Day 1 of Zambia or Bust

I am BACK and in one piece physically (kind of) and mentally (questionable)!  WOW and PRAISE THE LORD is all I can say!  I am going to have to give you a day by day play or else you will never return after having read a 100 page blog post.  You will have to check back each day over the next 10 days to hear about my trip. So be patient and go on a 10 day journey with me from Texas to London to Zambia and back again one day at a time...

DAY 1

Well, day one was actually spent in Jolly 'Ol London (which ain't so jolly I might add).  We arrived in London in the morning and enjoyed a nice bike tour around London.  I use the word "nice" VERY loosely.  You see, when I first heard we would be doing this I thought to myself, "Uh oh.  Amber do you even remember how to ride a bike?  What if you fall off???  What if your legs get really tired and you can't keep up because you are really out of shape???" I soon found out the answers to ALL of my questions.  

My first impressions of London...

It is really nice, everything is beautifully built,  the airport is hu-mongo (really big), the weather is quite dreary.  

We took the subway (which in my directionally challenged opinion was really confusing and one might easily get lost down there) to the bike tour place. We selected our bikes and I encountered problem #1...people in London must be really tall because I (and I was NOT the only one) could barely reach the seat.  Getting on the bike consisted of throwing my leg over and jumping about 5 feet (ok maybe I am exaggerating) in the air all while trying to stay balanced just to get on the stinkin bike.  Even the bar in the middle that connects the front of the bike to the back (totally not proper terminology I am sure) was too tall.  Let's just say if you were a man about my height you may of needed to go see your urologist after that bike ride... just sayin.  

So we began our lovely (I use the word lovely very loosely) bike tour of London.  First stop was Kensington Palace of course!

 We road down paths and met the friendliest squirrels you have ever seen in your life.  No, seriously folks...like pet 'em like a puppy dog friendly.  Craziness I say craziness!

 

We also saw the change of guards 

(I think that's what it was called)...

 We ate in a pub (Disclaimer: No alcohol was involved.) that had gluten free options.  Okay okay maybe England is a tad bit jolly.

We saw Big Ben (I think that's what it is called)

and various other sights that I can't remember the name of because I was too busy trying to stay on the dang bike and at some point I became really focused on how much my rear end hurt. Seriously bike rider people...how do you do it???  We see groups of bike riders everyday in our town and now I just want to walk out and give them all cushions to sit on.  There should be some kind of recall and new safety standards for those things they call seats. I am sure some group some where has done a study on the health hazards of bike seats. Oh, wait according to Google there are several!  See I DO have a legitimate point and it turns out I am not the only crybaby...there are actually lots of us.

and for the grand finale... 

Above is the documented photo journalism proof that I was indeed riding a bike. And not in the very back I might add because someone did have to take this photo. I must say that it is a terrible terrible shame that no one got a video or photo of this comical relief that is my life.  You see, while riding bikes in London we had to fit our bikes through these little bitty posts on the sidewalks that I assume are meant to keep cars off.  While riding my bike down a straight away my handle bars started to spin around and become detached.  Luckily I gracefully (yes, I did just use "I" and "gracefully" in the same sentence) hopped off of my bike before I crashed without incident and the guide came back and fixed my handle bars with his trusty tool that he just so happened to have.  I am guessing that I am not the only person this has ever happened to hence being prepared with the special tool and not to mention the "incident waiver" that we signed.  Well, we continued to ride and the front of my bike kept pulling to the left but it was manageable...until I came to one of those posts.  I rode up onto the sidewalk, began to enter between 2 of those posts (very similar to the ones we are now using as HOV lanes on 635 and 75 only these aren't flexible so when you hit one guess what...), my bike pulled to the left and it was all down to the pavement from there.  Yep, I fell off of my bike in front of all of London and into the mud of course!  It was the longest fall ever and it totally reminded me of those videos they show in slow motion on America's Funniest Home Videos of people with not so bright ideas.  As I began to fall I of course tried to catch myself and of course my big 'ol jacket sleeve got caught on the handle bar.  I still continued to try and catch myself until I realized the hand that would be catching me had my brand new camera in it.  So of course I clenched my camera to my chest and embraced the fall...into the mud.  Righty 'o good time I must say!  It was hysterical!  No REALLY, if I had been one of the people watching me, I would have laughed for days and told EVERYONE.  1/2 of our group was behind me so of course they all saw me too and came running.  They were REALLY worried (apparently they didn't know me so well yet) and began to frantically help me and check me over.  By this point the rest of the group had circled back including our tour guide who I am assuming at that point was wondering why he had to have the group with the clumsy red headed American girl.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  I think they thought I was delirious and they all looked at me with a puzzled look.  Welcome to my life folks... it don't get much more exciting and dramatic than that right there.  I assured them that I was indeed still in one piece and that there would not be any lasting wounds on my self esteem because I had long ago come to terms with the fact that I am Queen Clutzo and these things just seem to happen to me.  I managed to stay on my bike the rest of the trip (except for when I walked along side of it because seriously that seat thing hurts).  When we arrived in Zambia I finally realized the damage of my bike fall and the bruises from hip to toe were something to brag about.  I did spare you all a photo of those because my legs were porcelain (i.e. without spray tan, casper white) unmoisturized and quite possible unshaven.

By the end of the day I had my last impressions of London...

It's dreary.
People smoke alot.
People aren't extra friendly.
The buildings and architecture still look really nice from the mud.


Overall, it wasn't terrible but not really my cup of tea (no pun intended) to go on a vacation or anything.


So day 1 wasn't anything earth shaking or mind shattering but I had to warm you all up to prepare you for what came next...