I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane...

Seriously, I'm leaving on a jet plane in about 5 hours!  Have I mentioned that I HATE FLYING?!?  What's that?  Yes, I have mentioned that about 100 times?  Just making sure.  I have put my little patch behind my ear and I am praying that it works. I am NOT nervous at all!  I am so excited to go and I just can't wait.  Good thing I am teaching 1/2 of the day today or I might be sittin' at the airport right now inspecting my own plane.  There is quite a bit more to the story that I have not shared with you just yet.  I was waiting on the right time and last night it became the "right time".  What am I talking about you ask???  Allow me to start from the begining...


About 2 weeks before Christmas last year JB received word that he would have to take an out-of-town assignment. Ever since then he has been steadily out of town and only coming home on the weekends with an occassional Thursday night arrival.  His jobs have not been in the same place.  It's been more like 3 or 4 jobs from San Antonio to Colorado to Tulsa.  Some of you may have already known this but I chose not to share about this on the big WWW until now.  I didn't think it would be such a bright idea for me to post "Hey single gal home alone with 2 kids!" Since JB officially came home last night to stay I now feel it is safe to share with the big ol' WWW.  This was CHALLENGE #1 for us this year.  I NEVER wanted to live alone because I am a big ol' crybaby!  The first 6 months were terrible!  JB and I have such a partnership in our marriage and in our parenting that I really felt lost without him.  I slept 2-3 hours a night and I was exhausted.  His last job was the longest and when we got word about it I was steaming mad.  Not at JB, he is only trying to provide for his family.  I was mad at his job because they knew he had a young family and they did have an opportunity to keep him home but chose not to.  In my moment of self pity I shouted, "I did NOT sign up for this!  I am NOT supposed to be a single mom!  There have always been certain professions that I said I could not be married to and I thought I had avoided that.  Well, hello crappy (yes I said crappy) economy and goodbye husband. After a couple of days I threw up my hands and said that's it! I'm done!  I'm done crying and feeling sorry for myself.  Get a grip girl you've got kids to take care of! Suck-it-up! Put on your big girl panties and DEAL-WITH-IT!  That moment I got real red-kneck I prayed, "Dear God,  I pray for the unintelligent soul who gets the bright idea to come into my house while I am home alone with my kids.  I pray that they are saved and that you have their name marked in your book because I'm gonna mark 'em between the eyes with whatever calliber that thing is. Amen." I' m sooooo not kiddin.  I really prayed that exact prayer and I really slept from that moment on.  Josh Thompson says it best..."Our house are protected by the good Lord and a gun. You might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome."  Ya'll think I'm playing but I am dead serious. True story.  This last job was supposed to wrap up a few weeks ago just in time for JB to come home, re-adjust, and for us to have some family time.  Well guess what... he called me the day before he was supposed to come home and told me that he would not be home until the day before I left for Zambia.  I'm pretty sure I may have cursed his bosses in my head (hopefully not out loud).  I mean come on!  Are you kidding me??? Once again I took a deep breath and put on my big girl panties (not literally, those are actually called granny panties and you ladies know what I am talking about).  Sorry for my moment of TMI and inappropriateness.  Just trying to make sure ya'll get the full effect;).  Needless to say I have spent the last few weeks getting very focused and centered to handle all of life's stresses and to prepare for my trip.  I feel that those last 2 weeks of JB being gone were crucial in God's plan because he needed me to stay in need of HIM. What was the point of this story you ask???  I fully believe that God had a purpose even in this situation.  God knew I needed some breakin and remakin!  I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought.  I CAN survive with just me and the Good Lord and some serious prayer.  God needed to teach me this to prepare me to go to Zambia.  You see, one year ago I was like, "I'll go to Downtown Dallas and feed the homeless (we did this) but don't send me anywhere crazy like Africa!" Yes, at times Dallas is a bit scary for me. Ha!  Apparently, THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS has a sense of humor.  I would NEVER have gone on a trip without JB and now I am going to Zambia with 15 people I don't know.  Moral of the story...Now I am telling God not to send me anywhere crazy like Hawaii ;).  Think it will work???


Challenge #2
In January of this year I started getting sick.  Like really sick!  We're talking pass out on the bathroom floor in pain while I was home alone with 2 kids.  After a couple of months, 20 lbs. later and some urging from JB, I went to the dr.  I'll leave out all of the details of how we came to the diagnosis (I do have a plane to catch) and get strait to it.   We found out I have Celiac Disease which is an allergy to wheat and gluten.  Kate actually has it as well but we have known about her's since she was 2.  It is genetic and no, JT does not have it too.  I have had stomach issues my whole life and they were always misdiagnosed.  This time I was getting worse every day and I was starting to have other issues like vitamin deficiencies and all of the damage that had happened to my stomach.  I was a sick little puppy and poor JB had to be a single dad on the weekends while I tried to re-coup so I could be prepared for the next week of being a single mom.  Celiac disease has been around for a very long time but they have not a had a good test for it until the last 10 years.  Some people do choose to be gluten free as a lifestyle even if they don't have Celiac because there are so many benefits.  I'll be honest...I LOVE MY CARBS!   If it didn't make me puke and pass out in pain I would still eat pasta and pizza...the real stuff...not the stuff made outta rice.


Challenge #3
Lupus.  Where do I even begin with this one??? This one surprised me. Even after fixing my diet other things still weren't strait.  My bloodwork continued to be a mess and continuously showed I had an inflammatory process going on.  They passed me around to a few dr.'s trying to figure it all out and they finally sent me to a rheumatologist.  More test and guess what??? I have Lupus.   Both Celiac and Lupus are auto-immune diseases and it is very common to have more than one.  This diagnosis was very scary because there is no quick fix for it.  I struggled a lot with my choices in how to deal with this (I'll give more detail another time).  Sigh.  I mean what do you do? It is what it is, right???  I feel like I should have my own episode of Mystery Diagnosis.  


Now what did all of this have to to with my trip???  I don't think God made me sick.  I do feel that God chose to reveal these things to me at a specific time in my life.  He slowed me down because I tend to get overly involved in life in general.  He gave me a healthy fear of, "We aren't always promised tomorrow."  And he put me in a position where I really had to focus on choices and how I was living my life.  Think of it as a "What's really important" mind set.  My family is important, my job is important but HE is more important.  He is supposed to be at the top of the list and I have been so guilty of pushing Him to the side and becoming one of those 911 prayers.  I said it once and I will say it again... he had to break me so he could remake me.  He had a purposeful mission for every situation He put me in this last year.  I have learned to focus on God's purpose and teaching in every situation rather than the situation and circumstances themselves.

I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE I WAS BROKEN.  

GIVE GOD A CHANCE TO BREAK YOU!

Now for real...I'm leaving on a jet plane!  See you in 10 days!